


First Party Impressions

by scarlet_malfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Crack, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11639445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlet_malfoy/pseuds/scarlet_malfoy
Summary: Harry and Draco's first Christmas with the Weasleys &Co.





	First Party Impressions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fiona_Fawkes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiona_Fawkes/gifts).



> In 2007, fiona_fawkes posted a Christmas Crackfic Challenge on LJ. These were the prompts:
> 
>  
> 
> 1\. Did you get any under the tree?  
> 2\. I think your balls are hanging too low.  
> 3\. Check out Rudolf's honker!  
> 4\. Santa's sack is really bulging.  
> 5\. Lift up the skirt so I can clean underneath.  
> 6\. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?  
> 7\. I love licking the end till it's real sharp and pointy.  
> 8\. From here, you can't tell if they're real or artificial.  
> 9\. Can I interest you in some dark meat?  
> 10\. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against a wall.
> 
>  
> 
> I fit them all in. ;) Absolutely unbeta'd and cracktastic, but oddly fluffy towards the end. I have no idea how that happened.

Hermione and Ron's annual Christmas Party had begun with a bit of nervousness on Harry's part. He'd never had a date to the party before, and he'd most definitely not been out of the closet at Christmastime the previous year. It was a whole new experience, and he was excited about it; the year ahead promised many joyful tidings of good cheer, but he couldn't help but notice the slightly strained smiles on the faces of the party guests around him as he walked in with Draco Malfoy on his arm. 

But the conversations hadn't ground to a halt in front of him, as he had so been dreading. Nobody had turned to gawk and stare, and nobody had spoke out against his being there with his boyfriend. He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling Draco's arm disentangle itself from his own and give his hand a quick squeeze before letting go, and the two of them began making the usual round of holiday hellos. 

"So, Luna. **Did you get any under the tree**?" Harry asked. Draco, who'd been drinking a glass of eggnog, began to choke. 

Harry turned towards Draco, concerned, but Draco just moved his hands back and forth, smiling a bit peevishly as he cleared his throat. 

"Are you all right, Draco?" Luna asked, eyes wide and bright. "Is the Crumple-Horned Snorkack Essence too strong? I find it a bit bitter, myself." 

"I'm fine, just ... what?" Draco raised an eyebrow, holding his creamy drink up to the light for closer inspection. 

Harry grabbed his arm lightly and pulled it back down. "She means eggnog." 

"Oh, no, Harry, that wasn't what I meant at all! Don't you know that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks lay eggs, too? I wasn't sure until I sniffed Ron and Hermione's Crumple-Horned Snorkack Essence that that was surely what it was, but there's no denying the underlying stench." Luna nodded at them smartly before moving on to say hello to Neville, who had just arrived. 

Harry struggled to keep from laughing as Draco lip curled as he stared down at the glass in his hand. "I'll, um ... I'll be right back. I might need to go throw up. I'll just set this on the table first, shall I?" 

Draco turned, and bumped right into Ron, who had been leaning over slightly by the tree, straightening some of the ornaments. The eggnog spilled onto Ron's front, soaking the new red Christmas sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted him. 

Harry gaped in horror as Ron proceeded to turn the same color as his sweater, and Draco grinned feebly at him. 

"Sorry about that, Weasley. Really must watch where you are going!" With a flick of Draco's wand, Ron was clean again, though no less forboding-looking. "And, uh ... **I think your balls are hanging too low,** still." Draco turned, eyes raking over the decorated tree branches decisively. 

"Malfoy?" Ron said darkly. Harry took several cautious steps forward in case Ron decided to kill his boyfriend. 

"Mm?" Draco had knelt down and had begun happily rearranging the ornaments on the bottom part of the tree. 

"You are here because Harry is my best friend. But if you spill eggnog on me again, or if you do anything that even slightly pisses me off within the sanctity of my own home, I will be forced to --"

" **Check out Rudolf's honker!** " Hermione declared loudly over the crowd, holding a large poster of the former high above her head. "Who wants to play pin the tail on the reindeer, eh?" 

Hermione began to giggle and hiccup in a very un-Hermione-like way, and Ron groaned. He glared at Malfoy one more time before storming off, yelling "All right, who spiked the punch? Seamus Finnigan, I know it was you, where the hell are you?"

Draco sidled back to Harry's side, trying his hardest to look vague and innocent. "Good Lord, Potter. Are these what all Gryffindor Parties are like? Lame, I say. When do the strippers get here?" 

Before Harry could form a retort, there came a great, booming " _HO-HO-HO!_ " from the entrace way of the front door, which had been thrown wide open by Santa Claus. 

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Draco laughed, looking amused. Santa Claus, who was really Dean Thomas, sauntered into the Weasley's merrily crowded living room, handing out gifts to the guests from out of a bag thrown over his shoulder. "Well, **Santa's sack is really bulging** , isn't it?" 

"Ugh," Harry stated. 

Draco looked scandalized. "What? I was simply stating that Dean Thomas -- I mean, Santa -- must have a lot of presents in that sack! Look at how rotund it is!" 

Dean Thomas/Santa Claus waltzed up to them then, shaking hands with Harry and eyeing Draco rather peculiarly, but handing them each a gift anyway. "HO-HO, Happy Christmas, Harry and Mal -- Draco!" He said before walking away. 

"See, he even had a gift for you in there, Mr Snootypants," Harry said, rattling his gift and holding it up to his ear. 

"Did he just call me Bad Draco, in Spanish?" Draco wondered.

Harry looked up at him with a grin. "Somehow I doubt he meant it. Do you want to go sit down and open up our gifts?" 

"Yes. Let's." Draco took Harry's hand and led him to the couch in the corner beside the tree.

Before Harry could even lift an edge of the wrapping paper, Draco had gasped outloud, staring wide-eyed in the general direction of underneath the Christmas tree. "What?"

"I spilled Crumple-Horned Snorckack Essence in the tree's water supply! And there's a bit on the floor ... oh, no ... we've got to clean it up, Harry, before anyone notices!" Draco knelt down beside the tree, beckoning Harry over. 

Harry sighed and stood up. "You know it's just eggnog, right? I didn't warn you, but Luna has odd ideas sometimes ..."

"Do you really want to take any chances on our First Party Impression, Potter? Now, come on ... it will look altogether less inconspicious if you help me out here! **Lift up the skirt so I can clean underneath!** "

Harry forced his mouth into a straight, thin line, determined to make Draco aware of the fact that he was altogether rather unpleased with these circumstances, but he did lift the colorful tree skirt momentarily so that Draco could stick his wand in and clean. 

"Hello there, Harry! How've you been?" Neville appeared at Harry's side then, enveloping him in a tight hug and forcing Harry to drop the skirt over Draco's head. 

"Neville! I'm just great. I heard you got that teaching job at Hogwarts?" Neville nodded. "That's wonderful!" 

"Yeah, I'm really excited," Neville smiled, seeming to notice Draco for the first time as he crawled out from underneath the tree with a scowl. "Malfoy! Good to see you, too!" Neville offered his hand to Draco down on the floor, who stared at it in confusion for a moment before taking it and accepting the help up. 

"Longbottom. You're looking ... thin." Draco eyed Neville up and down for a moment, and Harry took a step closer to Draco, elbowing him harshly. 

Neville laughed. "Thanks. A bit of exercise really made a lot of difference for me. Blast those carbs, though! Speaking of, **did you get a piece of the fruitcake?** It was delicious, I hope you don't miss out!"

Draco broke out into incoherent giggles, and Harry grinned helplessly at Neville. "We'll be sure to try some, Neville, thanks for the tip." 

When Neville walked away to say hello to Ginny, Harry rounded on his boyfriend. "You are so immature sometimes, do you know that?"

Tears of mirth were pouring out of Draco's eyes as he took Harry by the shoulders and attempted with all his might to look Harry in the eye. "Harry ... I think ... I am in dire need of some peppermint. It will calm me down. It's soothing, you know. You mustn't have a crazy boyfriend for your First Party Impression." 

Harry sighed, noticing Parvati and Lavender walking around carrying a large cauldron full of (no, not hot strong love) but candy canes. "Well, come on, then!" Harry took his hand and weaved his way through the crowd until he had caught up to the girls. 

" ... **I love licking the end till it's real sharp and pointy** , you know what I mean?" Parvati was saying to Lavender, red and white candy cane dangling precariously out of her mouth. 

Lavender giggled. "I totally know what you are talking about." Both girls looked up at the same time, noticing Harry and Draco. 

"Hey, Harry! Erm ... and Malfoy! Candy cane?" Parvati smiled suggestively, directing the open cauldron towards the boys. 

Draco was holding back from laughing so hard that his eyes were crinkling in the corners and he was rivaling Ron Weasley's facial shade of red. "Yes, thanks!" He burst out, and began to laugh in earnest again. 

Harry frowned, grabbed one of the candy canes, and dragged Draco to the couch, letting him giggle as he sucked gently on the minty candy until dinner time, and he was sure Draco could remain composed.

Dinner was roast lamb and turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, and many other delectable delicacies that Hermione (after having taken a large dose of sobriety potion) served with pride. It was delicious, rivaling any Hogwarts Feast that Harry had ever had. 

The guests talked, laughed, and ate merrily. Hermione, across the table from Harry, was recounting her and Ron's visit to buy their Christmas tree. "I told him that we were going to pick out a tree the Muggle way, no ifs, ands, or buts! And it was going to be a _real_ tree, too -- real or nothing, I said. So he brought me to this magical lot instead!" Hermione laughed. "And I told him, ' **From here, you can't tell if they're real or artificial** , can you?' and then ..." Hermione's words died on her lips when Draco started to laugh raucously, seated next to Harry. Harry's fork fell to his plate with a clatter. 

"Draco, are you all right?" Hermione asked, the faintest grin on her face. The entire table was chewing silently and staring on at them. 

"Draco," Harry gritted his teeth when he spoke. "Can you _please_ be quiet?"

Kreacher popped into the kitchen then, with another plate of turkey balanced in one hand. Hermione had asked for Kreacher's help in preparations for her grand feast that evening, but he wouldn't let her pay him, no matter how hard she tried. " **Can I interest you in some dark meat** , Mr Harry Potter?" Kreacher asked kindly, the only one who ignored Draco when his fist came down on the table and he doubled up in what appeared to be either laughter or pain. 

"That's it! We're leaving. Let's go, NOW!" Harry shouted, rising from his seat and forcibly pulling Draco's chair out for him. It took him a moment to notice that everyone at the table around him had begun to laugh, slowly at first until the next person caught on. They weren't laughing at Harry, and not even particularly at Draco, but at some mystical note of hilarity that seemed to have slipped into everyone's Crumple-Horned Snorkack Essence that evening. Even Ron was quirking a wary smile and laughing under his breath. 

"Oh, Harry, do sit down. Please?" Hermione said, grinning widely. "It's Christmas!" 

Harry looked down at Draco who was smiling up at him appologetically, and at all of his friends and former classmates that surrounded him, most of whom had already forgotten about the little scene he had just made and had turned to make merry conversation with their neighbor. Draco grabbed his hand. 

"Come on, Harry. I'm sorry." 

Harry shook his head resignedly, but he did sit back down, and although things hadn't exactly gone as according to plan as he had hoped for his and Draco's First Party Impression ... he supposed it could have been a lot worse. 

~*~  
(three days after Christmas)

"I don't see why we have to take the bloody tree down by _hand_ , Harry ... I mean, just a simple Evanesco and it would be gone! Just like that! Whoosh! Disappear!" 

Harry frowned, disentangling the lights from around their own Christmas tree situated in their little London flat. "I do know what Evanesco means, thanks. And ... it's just part of what I always hoped Christmas would be. You know, a real tree, doing things the long way just to do it with the ones you love? Hermione touched on the subject at Christmas dinner, if you don't recall -- whoa!" The tree had begun to tip over towards Harry, and both of them rushed forward to catch it. 

" **To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against a wall**! Over on your side, that's closer!" Harry called out. Draco sniffed once, and then promptly burst into a fit of laughter, letting go of the tree and leaving Harry to watch sadly as it fell onto its side completely. 

"You are an arse!" Harry yelled impatiently, hands outstretched as if he could still somehow save the tree. Draco stepped forward, quieting down somewhat as he stood directly in front of Harry and pointed upward. 

Harry glared, but then he looked up, and saw that they were standing underneath the mistletoe. Draco inched forward. 

"No! You don't even deserve it, get -- your slimy hands -- OFF me!" Harry demanded as he was forcibly shoved back against the wall. Draco's lips met his and instantly he cooled down and relaxed into the kiss. 

"There now. All better?" Draco whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. The hands that held him there smelled of pine needles. 

"Next year, I'm going to have Christmas by myself," Harry announced stoutly. 

Draco giggled. "Fair enough," he replied, and leaned back in to kiss him again.


End file.
